I debated with myself for a while about writing a post such as this, only because I know some toes are gonna get trampled. For that, I apologise in advance and say that it is not my intention to single any one person out and fling stone afta you. This is just something I feel strongly about and I feel I can’t be silent about it anymore. I can’t hope and pray that you/they will pick up the clues I’ve been putting down.
I’ve come to the grim conclusion that not everybody understands the whole concept of personal space. What is Personal space, some may ask. Why do you need it? What if I have a personal space? How do I let people know? And trust me, I’ve asked these questions many times, especially when it comes to letting someone know my personal space . . . and the fact that they’ve crossed it on more than one occasion.
Personal space is the region surrounding a person which they regard as psychologically theirs. Most people value their personal space and feel discomfort, anger, or anxiety when their personal space is encroached. Permitting a person to enter personal space and entering somebody else’s personal space are indicators of perception of those people’s relationship.
Reference taken from Wikipedia.
I was so happy to find this explanation for its truth is beyond words. I get agitated, almost angry and I have to resist the urge to punch people in their throats for invading my space. And my space is not that big. Come on, three feet?! 3ft is not so big that you absolutely must cross into it to talk to me. I can hear you from a mile away anyway. I’m not deaf or blind.
I know there are times when my buffer, barrier, personal space (ps) will have to be retracted. Like when standing in line at the bank or at a fast food restaurant. I get that. I also know and understand that at large and crowded events there will be no such thing as ps. I understand those scenarios and have no qualms when someone inadvertently brushes past me, or accidentally (I’m hoping it’s accidental) steps on my toes. I get it.
What I don’t get is someone walking straight up to me so that we are now face to face and less than 3ft a part. What do you plan to do? Headbutt me? Punch me, kiss me, hug me, knee me in the tummy? What is your plan exactly? Yes. . . it makes me bummy. Because I don’t know what you plan to do and wont have enough time and/or space to react to you. It’s not cool man.
You know what else I don’t get? Leaning on me like I’m a fricking wall built to hold your ass up. Seriously! I get a very VERY strong urge to side step you in a manner that’ll make you fall flat on your face. I can’t help it. I’m not a wall!
You know what else also gets my skin crawling? That lingering hand shake, or the long touch on my shoulder or back or knee. You will not know this, but that touch is seared into my skin and not in a good way. It creeps me out. I keep thinking, “this is how diseases are spread”. Remember Ebola?! It was not that long ago. Nurses got sick while wearing protective gear, why do you think I wont ketch whatever it is you have going on?!
For the guys . . . you know when you’re using the middle urinal in a restroom and a guy comes and uses the one right next to you?! And you look around to see if all the others are occupied and they are not?! This is the equivalent of invading one’s personal space (in my opinion).
It goes too far when that brother decides to start talking to you and rests his hand on your shoulder . . . while you’re both using the urinal. This is the equivalent of that lingering touch I mentioned above.
Does it make sense now?! Do you get me?
The funny thing is, there are people I know who are exactly like me. I know this because they’ve NEVER made any attempt to touch me. And I LIKE them. So much so I would even consider including them into my personal space. You know why?! Because they get it.
I say this all to say, the next time you feel the urge to touch me or someone else, consider for a moment that not everybody likes close physical contact like that, and they might favour the comfort of their personal space more.
So jus tek weh yuhself mi bredda, give smaddy a likkle room, pulease!!!