For years my husband, from before he was my husband, would speak out against this whole Valentine’s Day foolishness, and as such, we never really celebrated it. “It’s a sham” he said, “an ode to hypocrisy, a celebration of the double-standard that exists within society.”
Tell me if any of you have heard or even chanted any of those statements before.
For years I wondered why he had so much animosity toward the day, a day cherished, mostly by women who love and appreciate the affection and attention they receive on that special day. For many, it’s the one time of year when a man’s love for her is supposed to be declared for all of the office/school/community to see. It is that one day where she is pampered and treated like the Queen she is.
But that’s where I think the problem starts.
If Valentine’s Day is a day of love and the celebration of a couples’ love, why then are women the only recipients of such celebratory activities?
Most if not all of the V-Day advertisements are geared towards men and what they should/could get and do for their loves. Whether it is in print, online, on the television, on the radio, in the stores, you name it, they are all stocked to the nines with trinkets and treats tailored for the Queen in every relationship.
What happen to the men?
So when my hubby started his usual V-Day rant, I wanted to get to the bottom of it. I asked several guys from my workplace their opinion on Valentine’s Day celebrations and whether they shared the same sentiment.
Here are what they said when asked whether they celebrate Valentine’s Day or not:
“She likes those things, so I have no choice.”
“It’s never the guys choice now, is it?”
“It’s like New Year’s for couples, a reminder to show love when you might have forgotten to throughout the year.”
“Any day that celebrates love and the love we share is great!”
“Whatever she says goes.”
“The true origin of the day doesn’t bode well with me so no, I don’t support it.”
“Nah wait fi one day fi celebrate my love.”
When asked if they felt slighted by the one-sided nature of Valentine’s Day, 6 out of the 7 guys I asked said “No”, they didn’t feel any way about it being geared towards their women.
Regardless, I still went ahead and inquired as to what would be the perfect gift for them and this is what they said:
“NO goddamn Chocolate! Gangstas nuh deal wid flowers or eat chocolate.”
I’m sorry . . . I had to laugh at his outburst, especially because the next guy I asked had no problem with chocolate. As a matter of fact, his wife encourages his indulgence in chocolate.
“Nothing generic, has to be something personal.”
“My wife knows to get me something sports related, especially with my team.”
“Amazon Store Credit or Gift Cards are good.”
“We can do a restaurant and then a club afterwards.”
“A good home cooked meal with candlelight setting and lots of sex, yes!”
In light of my mini impromptu survey, I would like to encourage all the women reading this to do something extra special for your men/lovers this Valentine’s Day. Don’t just receive, give a little. Let him know you LOVE him too, and that you want the world or at least just him to know.
Do something special for your loves this Valentine’s Day.