This love-hate relationship

It’s the day after and the buzz is all about yesterday.

How did you do?

What was your time?

How much you come?

I’m talking about the infamous Sagicor Sigma Corporate 5.5k Run/Walk. Now in its sweet 16th year, the Sigma Run managed to pull a whopping 22,000 plus participants. You know what that means?! Apart from raising funds to aid in the health and welfare of Jamaica’s children, it meant I had to circumvent some 22,000 people. Can you imagine seeing that many people in any one place, let alone moving in the same direction as you?! Yes, it was frightening.

2014 Sagicor Sigma Corporate 5.5k Run
Some 22,000 people filled the streets of Knutsford Boulevard

If you look closely, you’ll find me somewhere to the very back of the crowd, somewhere round dere so.

But the real crooks of the matter for me is my performance.

Last year I did the 5.5k course in 31 minutes. I ran – walked – ran – walked – and barely ran the last kilometre and made it in 31 minutes. I was proud of myself. If I could pat myself of the back I would. That was a good time for a beginner, not to mention how messed up I felt afterwards. I think I was in pain for days.

This year, because one of my goals was to participate in these 5k runs as a way of staying fit and healthy, I made it a point of duty to up my endurance so I could run an actual 5k without pause. And to my surprise and much protesting from my body, I ran from start to the 4k mark, walked for 50m and then ran the rest of the race. So that is almost as good as running the entire race right? Like I don’t even need to mention the little 50m walk, right?! And I stopped to walk because of the congestion of people I ran into at that 4k marker; the crowd was insurmountable.

Screenshot 2014-02-17 11.59.18

But despite my best efforts to condition my body, and the fact that I actually ran most of the race, I ran a time of 36:30 minutes 😦

I am terribly disappointed! There is no better way to say it.

I am disappointed.

But I don’t know whether I should be disappointed because I didn’t run fast enough, or because I expect too much from this ‘running’ phenomena of mine.

Let me explain.

A couple of years ago, as I’ve mentioned before, I could jog 10 times around the Emancipation Park and I actually put on weight. I’ll never forget it. People have suggested it was the fat turning into muscle kind of weight, but putting on weight when you’ve pushed yourself so hard, is never a nice feeling.

Running was like “Girl-chile, nuh badda tink seh you ago lose weight a do me, year! Just run caw you feel fi run.”

So, I decided to run, not to lose weight but to become fit and healthy, and to challenge myself.

And to that, Running is like “Girl-chile, wah mek you feel seh you was any betta dan las’ time? Mi nay tell you seh you fi run ongle caws you feel fi run? You nuh listen to big people when dem talk?!”

Right now, Running and I have a very love-hate relationship.

I run because I actually like running, and it’s a great way to keep fit and healthy and to work my cardiovascular muscles, which after witnessing my young mother have a heart attack, it means a lot to me that my heart is in a healthy condition.

But I hate the fact that no matter what I do, or how hard I try, I can never get the results I want from running. I’m not going to lose weight by running, and I’ll probably never run a good time when I actually try for it.

Sigh . . .



  1. Don’t get disillusion and especially don’t say you probably will never, cause if you keep at it you just would get the results you have been expecting. I am sure.
    you did great considering the congestion.
    Thanks for visiting my blog 😀


    • Thanks for visiting mine as well 🙂 and for your words of encouragement. I’ll try not to dwell on it and think negatively towards running. But I kinda feel better knowing that others did worse than they did last year too, so I don’t feel so bad :/ lol.


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