What am I going to tell him? Dana wondered. I cannot believe I stood him up, what was I thinking? Why did I even say yes in the first place?
The phone rang, jolting Dana back to reality. It was Nick. She cringed. I’ll let it go to voice mail, at least until I got my thoughts together. Nick was the guy she agreed to go on a date with. He was a handsome fellow she knew from work and even though she strongly believed in ‘not dipping one’s pen in company ink’ she gave in to his weekly entreaty and decided to go on a date with him. He wasn’t like all the other sleaze-balls in the office, he was patient, persistent, kind, and handsome, to her at least. But, there was a way he would speak to the other women in the office that made her blood run cold. He wasn’t a manager, CEO or anybody of consequence but he could carry that air about him, and if you were new and didn’t know him, you’d get played by him and his cronies one too many times.
Why did I agree to do this? Dana wondered to herself and sighed. The phone rang again and it was Nick, again. This made it the third time he called. What do I tell him? She thought when inspiration struck her. She’d call her friend Lisa once the phone stopped ringing. Lisa’s always in some predicament with the guys and always seem to know how to get out of it.
“Hey Lis, you busy?” She asked as Lisa answered the phone on the second ring.
“No, sup?” Lisa replied.
“I kinda have a situation.” Dana mumbled, embarrassed for her poor judgement.
“What’s the problem?” Lisa wasn’t a small talker, she wanted the facts, now.
“There’s this guy from work, he’s been asking me for a date for a while now and yesterday I finally said yes -”
“Well good for you.” Dana couldn’t determine whether Lisa was being sarcastic or if she was really congratulating her just now, but decided to continue.
“Thing is, I didn’t go on the date. It was tonight, by the way. About an hour ago. Now he’s calling me like crazy . . . wait . . . yep, there he is again, on the other line, the fourth time he’s called. I don’t know what to tell him.” Dana confessed.
“Hmmm” Lisa responded. There was silence on the phone. “Did you talk to him earlier today?” She asked.
“No. We made the plans from yesterday.” Dana replied.
“Well, you can do one of many things. One, the next time he calls, wait until the very last minute to answer, and sound hysterical too. Tell him how you had to go check on your grandmother at the nursing home at the last minute and how sorry you are for missing the date. Two, you could fake being sick but knowing you Dana, you haven’t got a dishonest bone in your body. Which brings me to number three, tell him why you stood him up. Why did you stand him up though? Just curious.” Lisa asked.
Dana took a deep breath, “he’s a chauvinist to other women, which means he’ll be chauvinistic with me as well. He is good-looking Lisa, believe me when I tell you, he is by far the best looking guy at the company, but you know how I feel about company relations especially with a man who thinks women are beneath him. I can’t handle that.”
“Hmmm, this might not be an easy get-away then. You should have gone on the date and botched it up miserably that way he wont ask you again. Get drunk and throw up all over him or something equally gross.” Lisa chuckled as she said the last bit and Dana couldn’t help but smile at that.
“But what do I do now?” Dana beseeched Lisa for a suitable solution.
“Here’s what you do, call the guy and apologize profusely for missing the date. If he’s blazing mad, let him rant. If he steps out of line though, do not tolerate it. Other than that, when he calms down, offer a second date and then you botch it up good and proper. I’ll even help you out with that one. But then again, you might end up liking him, a lot. Who knows.”
Dana smiled to herself, took a deep breath and thanked Lisa for the ear, the advise, and the future help. When they hung up, Dana took another deep breath and called Nick.
“Dana?” Nick answered almost immediately, and sounded frantic.
“Hi Nick, I’m sorry I missed the date. I ate something really bad and literally didn’t have the stomach to leave the house. Please forgive me.” Dana made sure to lighten her voice even more than usual. “I’m really sorry Nick.”
“Oh hush babe. How you feeling now? Would you want me to get anything for you?” How can he be so comforting to me now, but at work women cower in fear when he enters a room?
“No, I’m good” Dana replied a little too hastily.
“Why didn’t you call though? Or answer any of my calls?” Nick asked.
“I kinda overslept.” It amazed Dana at the ease with which these lies rolled off her tongue. “I didn’t see the missed calls until just now. I’m so sorry Nick. Please forgive me.” Dana wondered if she over did it with that last bit but what could she do now?
“It’s ok Dana, you’re ok, that’s all I needed to know. Thanks for calling me back too.” Was this it? Was she in the clear? Dana didn’t even think she needed to rearrange a second date, he seemed to let it all go. She smiled to herself inwardly and wished he had a good night, then hung up.
Just as she was about to settle in for the night comfortably and happy things went well with Nick, Lisa called her back.
“Hey Lisa, just called him and -”
“You need to look at your Facebook page.” Lisa interrupted Dana. Dana’s hair stood on end.
“What is it?” Dana asked slowly moving to her laptop and logging in.
“Just go to your page already.”
There on Dana’s page was an epistle of how insensitive and insecure she was, how she ran after and begged Nick for this date and then stood him up, how the gods must have smiled on Nick when she came down with food poisoning and irritable bowel syndrome and how she’s in fact contagious at this point. Dana could not believe her eyes. Not only did he leave the comment on her wall, he wrote a note about it and tagged everyone, and made it his status for all to see.
“Are you still there?” Lisa’s voice coming from the phone clutched in Dana’s hand frightened her. She hadn’t remembered she was still on the phone.
“This. Son. of a Bitch.” Dana screamed. What the hell was wrong with this guy? There, she thought. I knew he was an ass of monumental proportions.
“What the shit, man!” Dana was pissed now. How the hell do you handle this? “I just spoke to him you know Lis, JUST spoke to him. And he was all cool and everything. What the shit!” Dana hung up without even thinking about it.
She went to his post on her page and his note and his status and thanked him for showing her and the entire Facebook community what an immature, monumental piece of shit he really is. And even though that would do nothing to put him in his place, she washed her hands of the situation, unfriended and blocked his ass and made a mental note to avoid him at work on Monday.
See, this is why you don’t date clowns, children, or co-workers.